7 Undervalued Gifts of a Highly Sensitive Person
Can you recall moments in your life when people have called you "too sensitive" or "overly emotional"? Perhaps you feel emotions deeply and wonder why you seem to be the “strange one” in your family. You may be a highly sensitive person (HSP)—and that, my friend, is a gift.
The lack of validation you have experienced in your life may have caused you to doubt yourself and abandon your intuition.
Society places reason on a pedestal and teaches us to discount our instincts and emotions because they only lead us astray. As a child, we were encouraged to embrace the rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Sensitivity is a skill set, not a defect. The problem is when society and the people around us flood our minds with messages that we are “too soft.” This makes it difficult for HSP’s (and most people) to trust their bodies, emotions, and selves. It makes it difficult for us to respond to ourselves in ways that help us thrive.
Today, I want to challenge you to tune into your sensitivity and listen to your inner voice. It will guide you in setting boundaries, finding emotionally safe people in your life, managing your emotions, and navigating life in a way that brings you joy rather than stress and anxiety.
What does it mean to be a Highly Sensitive Person?
According to US psychologist, Dr. Elaine Aron, sensory processing sensitivity, is a genetically determined trait, not a disorder. What this means is that if you are a HSP, your brain is more highly activated in the areas associated with awareness and empathy. Your nervous system is more sensitive and processes emotional, physical, and social stimuli more deeply. HSP's become hyperaware of their surroundings and tend to notice micro shifts in their environment. This can become overwhelming, making thoughts, feelings and emotions too intense to process. Being a HSP can involve anxiety and added stress in life, but it also brings a richness to life.
The HSP has unique abilities that can contribute to the forming of a kinder, safer, and more connected world.
As much as society would like to tell us that being a sensitive person is a weakness or defect, the truth is that sensory processing sensitivity is an innate trait that involves a different way of processing information in a deeper--not defective--way.
The key to thriving as an HSP is to understand why you react the way you do and to view your sensitivity as a gift, not a defect.
4 Aspects of Highly Sensitive People
Depth of Processing
HSPs process things more deeply by relating what they know to past experiences. Often, this happens without the person realizing it. For this reason, HSPs tend to have great intuition. When the processing happens more consciously, it often results in an HSP taking longer to make a decision because of how carefully they process each option.
Overstimulation
HSPs notice very small details in situations, and when a situation becomes complex, intense, or very long, an HSP may become worn out quicker than a non-HSP. This is because they had to process so much information. HSPs tend to become easily stressed by overstimulating environments and often avoid these intense situations because they can be so anxiety-producing.
Emotional Responsiveness & Empathy
HSPs tend to react more than non-HSPs to both positive and negative experiences. This is an incredible asset for the HSP because recent scientific research has shown that emotion plays a significant role in making wise, informed decisions.
Sensitive to Subtleties
As noted earlier, HSPs tend to notice subtleties that others miss. Small facial queues or changes in body gestures add to the information that an HSP is trying to make meaning of.
The Brain of a Highly Sensitive Person
Brain scans have shown that brains of HSPs react more strongly to emotionally evocative content. The brain regions related to empathy, reward processing, awareness, integration of sensory information, and planning are more highly activated in HSPs than non-HSPs. This is why you tend to be more emotionally responsive and empathetic to the pain of others. You feel the pain of another person as if that pain were your own. For this reason, you are able to be deeply attuned to the emotions of others and respond to them in ways that are healing.
In addition, the mirror neuron system in HSPs is also highly activated. This contributes to your empathic responses. You are a sponge for the emotions of others and can literally feel what another person might be feeling when you see them do a certain action or have a certain experience.
7 Remarkable Gifts of a Highly Sensitive Person
You are Deeply Intuitive.
Your level of self-awareness and capacity for processing bodily sensations aid you in having increadible intuition. Your intuition is an asset in your decision-making processes. Ignore the haters. Trust your gut.
You Pick Up on Nuances and Subtleties.
You process the environment and your experiences on a much deeper level than most people. You are naturally pay close attention to details and notice how they resemble something of your past. This helps you make better informed decisions in the future. For this reason, you have the tools to spot red flags in people and situations and avoid toxic relationships.
You are Deeply Empathetic.
You are able to tune into the emotions of others on a level that helps people feel seen and known. This is a critical component to any secure and deeply connected relationship. You have the ability to be an incredible friend, family member, and partner. Part of your ability to be deeply attuned to others is that you are able to pick up on someone’s emotion and respond to them in a way that helps them feel seen and known amidst their pain. When someone is suffering near you, they are able to find a safe haven in you.
You are Considerate.
You tend to notice small things that make a person light up and you know how to use that information later. You might be a great gift-giver. You may also be extra aware of your body language or the needs of another person. You try your best to respect their needs for peace and personal space because you value peaceful spaces. You do your best not to infringe on the freedom of someone else.
You are Highly Curious.
You are a flexible thinker that is able to navigate the complexity of life. In matters that seem black and white to many people, you find yourself moving past dualistic thinking and engaging the situation with curiosity and non-judgement.
You are Creative.
You tend to think outside of the box and can be very imaginative in your thought processes. This can lead to innovation or beautiful, thought-provoking works of art.
You are a Sincere Listener.
Because you are so curious and emotionally attuned to the people around you, people tend to feel your genuine support and emotional presence with them. You hold space for another person’s suffering without trying to fix the situation out of your own discomfort or give unsolicited advice.
In order to embrace these gifts as an HSP, you will need to begin by reducing the overstimulation in your life so that these qualities do not create unnecessary stress and anxiety in your life. Some ideas might include:
Avoiding crowds when possible
Surrounding yourself with beauty by going for a nature walk or placing beautiful artwork in your home
Exercise regularly to reduce anxiety and increase the endorphins that give your day a lift
Give yourself enough sleep
Say “no” when you need to. If a situation is going to be too overwhelming, it is okay to be gentle with yourself and say no.
Use meditation, deep breathing, journaling, or relaxation techniques in a calm, quiet space where you won’t be interrupted
Being kind and gentle with yourself does not mean you are weak. It is a way you can give yourself a chance to thrive.
As an HSP, you may need extra self-care in order for these aspects of your personality to flourish.
When you see other people in your life rushing around, filling their schedules, and doing things that you would find overwhelming, take a moment to pause.
You are not weak. You are not “less-than.” And you are certainly not defective. You have gifts that enable you to make the world a more kind, connected, and safe place. You deserve the love that you readily offer to the people around you.
A Word of Caution to a Highly Sensitive Person:
If you are in a helping profession that exposes you to the traumatic experiences of others, I would encourage you to surround yourself with people who can support you. As an HSP, you are more susceptible to secondary trauma and the support of a trauma-informed therapist can help you in releasing the traumatic stories that you absorb within yourself.
As a Highly Sensitive Person, you are a gift to your relationships. Trust your gut when you notice that the relationship feels one-sided or toxic. As an HSP, it is easy to take responsibility for the issues and emotions of other people without considering the way the relationship may be hurting you. This is because you care so much! Toxic people can use your empathy to fuel their toxic behavior. Trust your gut and seek out help if you feel you might be in a situation such as this.
